A moment of limited responsibility...

Okay, had my feet up the last couple of days...my apologies for the delayed announcement of the winner. :)

Due to the overwhelming response, I have decided to give something to each of the 3 commenteers. So let me know your address through email and I will send them off! (info@ambrelladesign.com).

About the photo: This is the second in line of a theme that so far includes a beach, my feet, and a bottle of beer. What can I say? I suppose I think it would be sweeter without the beer in there, but it is there, and I think makes it in because it symbolizes a moment of limited responsibility.

I am about to finish a big blank journal, which, if you have ever done, you know is a great feeling of accomplishment. I found this toward the beginning:

Welcome.
Let yourself in through the back door.

Sweep out the cobbies.
Sweep the floor.
Let in the sun.
Give a fresh coat of paint.
It's okay to leave some rooms for later.
Do what you can right now.
Just try it.
Do it well.
Make it your personal sanctuary.
The front door is locked and only you have the key.
This is a safe place.
This is you.

With Grace All Things Are Possible + Giveaway!

Number four....

Guess what? We just missed my 100th post, and I am celebrating a very near trip to the states, so let's have a little party, shall we?

Head on over to my etsy shop and then come back here with a comment including which item you'd like to win. And then you just might! I'll draw the winning name on November 8th.

My Journey, My Folly, My Heart

Number three! Number four awaits me in the studio. I may do more of course, but this particular set of 4 canvases were awaiting a common destiny.

One little bump in the road is this glossy medium I am finishing them with. It is just way too glossy. I think I remember Heather telling me she started mixing glossy with matte to get a sort of satin finish. Once they are all done I think I will do that.

And I am also really into it because they are "just because I want to". You know, for so long it has been about figuring out what I want to make and then figuring out how/if I can sell it. Selling my work is a great motivator. Or having it be for some intended purpose, like a show. BUT, I haven't really given my art development its due attention just as an important part of who I am. And this has resulted in me often needing to give a reason to my work, which is incredibly limiting. It puts on the pressure, gives parameters of all kinds, guides your expression.

I work well under pressure, and enjoy having parameters too. But in retrospect, having less of that to start with could have been a good thing. I suspect that by simply paying more attention to IT/ME for awhile, that something really positive will come about. That voice I have been looking for...

ps...have you noticed the Notes From The Universe up in the right hand corner of my blog? That is the most inspiring widget I have seen. Now every time I open my homepage I get a note from the universe. How great is that?

Either You Do Or You Don't

It is a time of great decisions, and opening doors. Of walking through them. The Hero is a force to be reckoned with, to have tea with, and to get into bed with.

I have been taking these photos kind of on the fly, but you'll see in the last post a fresh photo of the last piece "By the time you wake up", and here the second one, "Either you do or you don't." I am in the middle of the next two, and I can't wait to see how they all will look together.

Even though it's all chaotic up in here, I have to say I am at peace with what seems to be a divine tapestry, and getting up the courage to put out prayers (like writing them down and putting them in my bra), and seeing the answers fly inthe window like a butterfly, or get slipped under the door like a secret note. I think I have a new understanding of sending clear messages to the universe. God needs to know you are committed, before it can commit too.

I have a good feeling about where things are going. Looking into teaching some workshops here before the holidays, really into painting and imagery, and calling into being a surge in my bank account so I can come home for a bit.

We Can Be Heroes

Opening up my Zen of Creative Career Design Bible, I always find something inspiring or useful. Last night's reading brought up one of my favorite things in spiritual practice/art/life: archetypes and symbolism.

The text talks about 4 main energies and how they can be interpreted for creating our life's work. The 4 main energies are The Hero, The Magician, The Warrior, The Scholar. I especially resonate with the Hero right now. Since I am in my own little world that seems like a bottomless confusing mess, finding it hard to talk about any one thing, source, or solution, I thought I'd share a bit of my journey through this...

The Hero
"The Seeker of the Grail-The Decider of Roads:
Two of the Strongest symbols of the Hero are the cup, or Grail, and the road, or path of adventure. The Grail represents the Quest, the Hero as Seeker. It signifies the fullest potential of life, the yearning for one's true life. The road represents choice, the crossroads of decision, the

"Hero as Decider...The Hero energy is about claiming the decision-making power, being conscious of the decision you make, and accepting responsibility for them.

"...The Hero's seeking informs desire--before he wants, he asks what to want. He recognizes that we tend to desire what we focus our attention on, and...decides for himself...what the story of his life will be about.

"Once we see the light of choice, we must put on blinders on order to go back to sleep. The trouble is, we put these blinders on by choice, and in awareness of the choice. We will go along...Whatever happened to all those choices, all those possibilities? Now everything seems set in stone...(but) it's never too late for questing.

"The Hero as chooser is the one who decides what to create, to build, to make. The Hero is the inner king or queen setting the agenda for the other creative powers, commanding them to work his visions into reality. We cannot be artists of life without the courage to seek and the courage to stand by our insights."

Wish You Were Here

I got a bit of them crazy eyes in this photo, taken on Saturday on a little ladies trip to a mountain village in the South of France called St. Paul. Feeling a little crazy this last while, it's true.

Today there will be a small memorial for my beloved uncle who recently passed away, and what I really want is to scream out to the world that it's just not fair, and how amazing he was. He was my professor of silliness. The smartest man I had ever met. Always a kind word, and so amazingly generous with everything he ever had. There's nothing you can say really, about a departed loved one, that can do justice to your feelings.

I have such good memories of the time I spent with him and his parting has made me not only sad and regretful, but also recall one scene I loved in the movie P.S. I Love You when they are at the monument to those who died as a result of the Irish famine. And they are eating takeout corned beef sandwiches. The fellow says something about it being perverse, and she responds that her husband always thought the best way to honor the dead is to "show them you are doing well."

So, I am trying to take that perspective on things. As someone who honored my pursuits in an arts career, enjoyed the best food and wine with me, and would have wanted nothing short of a spectacular life for me, with all of the privileges I have been bestowed with, that I take the bull by the horns. Own my life again, navigate the high seas in my own way, and captain my own ship. Thanks for everything Captain... I love you so much. Forever.

Button Button Whose Got the Button?

Hello new buttons!! I have been wanting these for a long time and now, look, I made 'em myself! I am on a new digital empowerment kick, thanks to which I am excited about mastering some techniques for surface design.

It's funny, because I was so happy to discover Laura Gunn, who recently put out her own line of fabric based entirely on her paintings. This is what made it initially seem more possible to me. And that sense of possibility has made me imagine how exactly I want my own designs to be, and turning me to have the nerve to get serious with graphics. Not just analyzing them and seeing what I want...actually making it myself! A whole new creative process to be learned too, and I am thrilled about it.

In fact I am loving the idea of designing without the absolute need of a studio environment; feeding into my desires to live part time in different countries. Writing and designing are both occupations I love and can do on the go, relatively. And using the computer I imagine freeing up the process considerably. Though I love my painting and sewing and don't feel the need or desire to give that up, I do see the advantages of braving what I have been too impatient to really learn till now.

So, VIVA BUTTONS AND BANNERS, warming me up and getting me over the hump of the comfort zone. Above you'll see the "ambrella design" button. If you are interested in starting a relationship with it, just let me know.

Other news is, please perk up your ears, I will soon have a 5 hour work day 5 days a week! Noa's school situation is getting more intensive, and lunch and naps will be part of the deal. I believe that in about 6 months time I will be changing my online scheme to represent a whole new aspect of my work. For now I am happy to keep it neutral yet personal (gray, turquoise and yellow), with a touch of something I created in the last year (bird painted in my altered book, also a dream come true.)

xo